Are you struggling to understand the ENFPs in your life?
These individuals are known for their upbeat and curious energy, as well as their love for exploring possibilities and presenting options. However, they can also become enraged by dishonesty, constraints, injustice, and interruptions.
If you want to learn how to handle an ENFP’s anger or support them through trauma, keep reading. In this article, we’ll explore the unique traits of ENFP personalities and provide tips on how to communicate effectively with them.
Whether you’re a friend, family member, or coworker of an ENFP, this guide will help you navigate your relationship with ease.
How To Deal With ENFP Personality
1. Give them space to cool off
If an ENFP becomes angry, the best way to handle the situation is to give them some space to cool off. They need time to process their emotions and come back to a state of calm. Once they have had time to cool down, offer them your undivided attention when they return to talk things over. If you can make them feel heard, they will quickly return to their usual bouncy mood.
2. Provide a safe space for processing trauma
ENFPs who have experienced trauma may need a safe space to process their emotions. Safe spaces are environments free of judgment, blame, or shame. Therefore, it’s crucial that ENFPs have a safe space to process their emotions. You can also support ENFPs who’ve experienced trauma by being patient and encouraging open communication. ENFPs may crave acceptance from others as a result of trauma, so it’s vital that you are empathic and refrain from pressuring them to discuss their trauma.
3. Respect their values
ENFPs are as stubborn as they are open-minded. They fiercely defend the values that matter to them and respect others who do the same. The way to an ENFP’s heart is to show them where your own priorities lie and to stand for those priorities unapologetically. ENFPs are not pushovers and they don’t expect their mates to be either.
4. Be direct in communication
Because ENFPs care so deeply about the feelings of others, they tend to dislike direct or abrasive conversations … and sometimes, they avoid direct conversations altogether. However, in some situations, direct communication is necessary. If you need to have a difficult conversation with an ENFP, think about what you want to say, take a deep breath, and say it. You can preface the conversation by stating what is to come: “I’d like to talk to you about something, and it’s a subject I know neither of us is completely comfortable with …” If it helps, practice in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend or therapist first.
5. Understand their communication style
ENFPs find it easy to establish a common ground with people of a mindset similar to theirs – or, in other words, the representatives of intuitive/feeling (NF) personality types such as ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, and INFJ. They have a similar way of perceiving the world, which is why an ENFP finds it easy to share their feelings and views with other NFs, and is also likely to comprehend other NFs’ feelings and views.
In their interaction with the representatives of intuitive/thinking types (NT), including ENTJ, INTJ, ENTP, and INTP personality types, ENFPs should rely on conceptual and logical communication.
In their communication with the representatives of sensing/feeling types (SF), including ESFJ, ISFJ, ESFP, and ISFP personality types, ENFPs should try to orient their manner of communication toward feelings, facts, and concrete sensations.
ENFPs may encounter difficulties in communicating with the representatives of sensing/thinking types (ST), including ESTJ, ISTJ, ESTP, and ISTP personality types. They should strive to confine their communication with people of the sensing/thinking types to facts and their direct implications.
Understanding The ENFP Personality Type
The ENFP personality type is one of the 16 different types identified by the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). ENFPs are typically described as enthusiastic, charismatic, charming, energetic, and independent. They are also creative, and they typically do best in situations where they have the freedom to create and innovate. ENFPs are motivated by a desire to understand others and to help them. This is how they perceive the world and the people around them – their emotions and actions.
ENFPs are less concerned with what’s “acceptable” and more concerned with what’s authentic. They like exploring and presenting options, and they appear animated and expressive. They have an engaging communication style and want to get you involved in the process of exploring ideas. An ENFP’s style of communication is characterized by their readiness to help by activating and developing other party’s abilities. Communication with an ENFP is pleasant and easy.
ENFPs are generally happy, easygoing folks, but dishonesty, constraints, injustice, and interruptions can enrage them. The best way to handle their anger is to give them some space to cool off and then offer them your undivided attention when they return to talk things over. If you can make them feel heard, they will quickly return to their usual bouncy mood.
ENFPs have two subtypes: ENFP-A and ENFP-T. ENFP-A is also known as an “Assertive Campaigner.” This ENFP subtype tends to be more confident and has more emotional control in their relationships. ENFP-Ts are known as “Turbulent Campaigners” and often have less confidence and less emotional control, also experiencing more anxiety when dealing with everyday stress.
As with other types, ENFPs can be readily blinded to the degree to which their inferior function impacts their decisions and behavior. Consequently, ENFPs seeking self-knowledge and personal growth must work to understand the ways their inferior function, Introverted Sensing (Si), manifests in their personality. Si uses information from the past to inform the present. It is attuned to past ways of doing things, engendering a concern for preserving certain traditions and conventions.
In contrast to Se types, Si types (i.e., SJs) have a diminished need for novel physical pleasures, lavish surroundings, or material comforts. Si is best understood in juxtaposition with its functional opposite, Ne. Despite being opposites, when considered together, Ne and Si constitute a meaningful whole. As we’ve seen, Ne is concerned with exploring new ideas and possibilities. Si, in contrast, is focused on preserving the past.
ENFPs tend to consciously identify with the needs and values of their Ne while their subconscious rallies for the values and desires associated with Si. Therefore, understanding an ENFP’s inferior function can help you communicate with them better by knowing what they value most in life.
Common Triggers For ENFPs
ENFPs can experience stress in various situations, and it’s essential to understand their triggers to help them cope better. Here are some common triggers for ENFPs:
1. Feeling unheard or ignored
ENFPs value conversation and connection above everything else. They love to express themselves and share their thoughts and feelings with others. Therefore, if they feel ignored or unheard, it can be a significant trigger for them. They might feel rejected, frustrated, or angry and may respond with suppressed rage.
2. Being controlled or constrained
ENFPs are free-spirited individuals who do not like being reined in or feeling stifled in any way. If someone tries to control them, they will fight back ferociously. They might be slow to anger, but if someone blatantly tries to control them, they will react fiercely.
3. Deception or dishonesty
ENFPs are honest individuals who value authenticity above everything else. They despise being lied to in personal and political situations. They rely on their intuition to tell them when someone is untruthful or inauthentic, and they have strong reactions to liars and phonies.
4. Unsolicited advice or criticism
ENFPs don’t like to be told what to do, especially when it comes to their personal choices or decisions. Vague explanations like “that’s just the way it is” or “this is how the system works” only enrage them more. If you must put limits on an ENFP, appeal to their soft hearts by showing them how the restriction benefits the group as a whole.
5. Seeing someone hurt others
ENFPs are champions of the underdog and always want to support those in need. Watching someone wield their power to hurt, belittle, or control others sends the ENFP into a blind rage. Their most deeply held values compel them to speak up for animals, children, and anyone who lacks a voice of their own in the world.
How To Effectively Communicate With An ENFP
ENFPs are known for their creativity, empathy, and free-spirited nature. They enjoy collaborating with others and bringing out each person’s potential in any situation. To effectively communicate with an ENFP, it’s important to keep the following tips in mind:
1. Be supportive and encouraging: ENFPs thrive on positive feedback and affirmation. Praise them for their small efforts toward achieving goals, and compliment them when possible. When they share their ideas, be affirming and show enthusiasm.
2. Get to know them personally: ENFPs work best with people they enjoy being around. Take the time to engage in small talk and build a personal relationship with them on top of work-related interactions. When communicating important information, do it casually over a cup of coffee or during a casual chat before getting to the main topic.
3. Focus on how it develops people: ENFPs are motivated by the wish to understand others and help them. When communicating with an ENFP, talk about how your ideas or initiatives can impact people on a big scale and bring out their potential. If they see the human development potential, they are more likely to be convinced.
4. Connect through discussion: ENFPs appreciate open and vulnerable discussions that flow naturally. Avoid cutting things short or being too formal. Allow conversations to run for as long as they need to.
5. Respect their need for freedom: ENFPs need to feel like they have the freedom to explore their ideas and be themselves without judgment. Avoid harsh criticism, judgment, or closed-mindedness as it will quickly shut down an ENFP.
Handling An ENFP’s Anger
ENFPs are generally happy and easygoing individuals, but like everyone else, they can get angry. When an ENFP becomes angry, it’s essential to handle the situation with care. Here are some tips for handling an ENFP’s anger:
1. Give them space to cool off: If an ENFP becomes angry, it’s best to give them some space to cool off. They need time to process their emotions and come back to a state of calm. Once they have had time to cool down, offer them your undivided attention when they return to talk things over. If you can make them feel heard, they will quickly return to their usual bouncy mood.
2. Listen actively: When an ENFP is angry, they may feel like their emotions are not being heard or validated. Therefore, it’s crucial to listen actively when they express their feelings. Show them that you understand where they’re coming from and validate their emotions.
3. Avoid criticism and blame: ENFPs are sensitive individuals who take criticism and blame personally. Therefore, it’s important to avoid criticism and blame when handling their anger. Instead, focus on finding a solution to the problem at hand.
4. Be empathetic: ENFPs value empathy and understanding in their relationships. When handling their anger, it’s important to be empathetic and try to see things from their perspective. This will help them feel understood and valued.
5. Be patient: ENFPs may take longer than others to process their emotions and come to a resolution. Therefore, it’s essential to be patient when handling their anger. Avoid rushing them or pressuring them to resolve the issue quickly.
Supporting An ENFP Through Trauma
ENFPs who have experienced trauma may require extra support and understanding. It’s essential to provide a safe space for them to process their emotions without fear of judgment or shame. This safe space can be created by being patient and empathic, encouraging open communication, and refraining from pressuring them to discuss their trauma.
It’s also crucial to understand that ENFPs may crave acceptance from others as a result of their trauma. Therefore, it’s essential to offer them a non-judgmental environment where they can be themselves and feel accepted.
When supporting an ENFP through trauma, it’s important to be open-minded and avoid judging them for their emotional reactions. ENFPs are natural extroverts who feel comfortable around like-minded people who don’t judge them. Traumatized ENFPs will feel more at ease if they’re surrounded by people with similar experiences of distress.
In addition to providing a safe space, it’s crucial to encourage the ENFP to seek professional help if they’re struggling with mental illness or other issues due to trauma. Professional help can provide them with the tools and resources necessary to cope with their trauma effectively.
Finally, it’s important to be patient when supporting an ENFP through trauma. They may need time and space to process their emotions fully. Encouraging open communication and being empathic can go a long way in helping an ENFP feel supported and understood during this challenging time.
Tips For Strengthening Your Relationship With An ENFP
If you are in a relationship with an ENFP, there are a few tips you can follow to strengthen your bond and create a healthy, fulfilling relationship:
1. Be open-minded and supportive of their ideas
ENFPs are full of creative energy and love exploring new ideas. They thrive in relationships where their partner is supportive of their dreams and goals. Encourage them to pursue their passions and be open-minded to their ideas, even if they seem unconventional or unrealistic.
2. Listen actively and show empathy
ENFPs are highly empathic individuals who value deep connections with others. When they share their thoughts or feelings with you, make sure to actively listen and show empathy. Try to put yourself in their shoes and understand where they’re coming from. This will help strengthen your emotional bond and create a deeper level of intimacy.
3. Give them space to explore
ENFPs need space to explore their interests and passions. They may want to try new hobbies, travel to new places, or meet new people. Encourage them to explore these opportunities and give them the freedom to do so. This will help them feel supported and valued in the relationship.
4. Show appreciation for their strengths
ENFPs have many strengths that make them great partners, such as their creativity, enthusiasm, and communication skills. Make sure to show appreciation for these strengths and let them know how much you value them. This will help build their confidence and make them feel loved.
5. Be patient with their emotional intensity
ENFPs feel emotions deeply and may become overwhelmed at times. Be patient with them when they’re going through a tough time and offer your support without judgment or criticism. This will help strengthen your emotional bond and create a safe space for them to express themselves.
By following these tips, you can create a strong, healthy relationship with an ENFP that is built on trust, empathy, and mutual support. Remember that every relationship is unique, so be open to adapting these tips to fit your specific situation.