As an INFJ, you are a deeply empathetic and sensitive person. You feel emotions on a level that most people can’t even comprehend.
While this can be a beautiful gift, it can also leave you vulnerable to getting hurt in relationships. When you do get hurt, you may find yourself retreating into your own world, trying to protect yourself from further pain.
This is a natural response for INFJs, but it can also be isolating and confusing. In this article, we’ll explore what happens when an INFJ is hurt and how to navigate the complex emotions that come with it.
Whether you’re currently dealing with a painful situation or just want to be prepared for the future, this article is for you. So take a deep breath, grab a cup of tea, and let’s dive in.
When An INFJ Is Hurt
When an INFJ is hurt, they may retreat into their own world and shut out the people who have caused them pain. This is known as the INFJ door slam, and it’s a way for the INFJ to protect themselves from further hurt.
While this may seem like a harsh response, it’s important to understand that INFJs are deeply empathetic and feel emotions on a level that most people can’t even comprehend. When they are hurt, it can feel like the world is crashing down around them.
The INFJ door slam isn’t about punishing the other person, but rather about protecting themselves from more hurt. It’s a way for the INFJ to take control of the situation and set boundaries for their own emotional well-being.
However, sometimes no matter how hard an INFJ tries to slam the door on a relationship, the other person’s foot is pushed in the gap, leaving them trapped in toxicity. This can be a haunting experience, with the door cracked just enough for the other person’s presence to cause emotional aggravation.
In these situations, it’s important for the INFJ to pinpoint the cause of why the door is staying open. Is it because they still have feelings for the other person? Is it because they feel guilty about cutting them out of their life? Once they understand the root cause, they can work towards resolving it one way or another.
The INFJ’s Deeply Emotional Nature
The reason why the INFJ door slam is so effective is because of their deeply emotional nature. INFJs are born healers who are predisposed to want to help people become whole and live their best lives. They are empathetic creatures who often care about people too much and are filled with intense emotions.
However, the downside of being so sensitive is that they inevitably feel pain differently. When an INFJ says “it hurts,” it’s important to understand that they are processing agony at much greater levels than the average individual. This can lead to them feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated, which can cause them to shut down emotionally.
Furthermore, unhealthy INFJs can get so wrapped up in other people’s feelings that they lose themselves in the process. They can create or enter into codependent relationships where they feel they have to control everything at all times. If something is wrong, they believe it’s their fault. They can’t tolerate unhappiness in others and will jump in to “save” people before they have a chance to try to save themselves. This can lead to resentment, bitterness, exhaustion, and anxiety.
It’s important for INFJs to realize that they are not responsible for other people’s feelings. In fact, they can do more harm than good by trying to manage other people’s emotions and fix things for them. Empathy and consideration are positive things, but control, martyrdom, and people-pleasing behaviors can be dangerous and harmful.
How INFJs Get Hurt In Relationships
INFJs are emotionally sensitive people who are easily overwhelmed by their environment and the people in it. They tend to be very empathetic and care deeply about the feelings of others, often putting their own needs aside to prioritize those around them.
This sensitivity can make INFJs particularly vulnerable to getting hurt in relationships. Rejection, in the form of broken trust or a lack of care, can be especially painful for INFJs. They may also get hurt by the mundane actions of others, as their friends may not notice when they are being hurt.
INFJs tend to attract toxic, narcissistic or emotionally needy people because they want to help them, but some of these people take without giving much in return. This can lead to INFJs feeling drained and exhausted, especially if they have been trying to mend the relationship for months or years.
When an INFJ reaches a point where they cannot move forward from the immense hurt caused by the other person, they may resort to the INFJ door slam. This is when an INFJ cuts someone out of their life permanently in order to protect themselves from further hurt.
Unhealthy INFJs can also get wrapped up in other people’s feelings and lose touch with who they are. This can lead to codependent relationships where they feel they have to control everything at all times. They may take on too much responsibility for other people’s emotions and feel like it’s their fault when things go wrong.
Ultimately, INFJs need kindness, harmony, and mutual support in their relationships. They won’t tolerate being taken for granted forever, and when they reach their breaking point, they will cut toxic people out of their lives in order to protect themselves from further hurt.
The INFJ’s Response To Hurt
INFJs are highly sensitive people, and when they are hurt, it can feel like a deep wound that takes a long time to heal. They may retreat into themselves and shut out the world, becoming less communicative and less likely to engage in social activities.
The INFJ’s response to hurt is often to take time to process their emotions and thoughts. They need space to heal and think through their next steps. Dismissing their emotions or making them feel irrational can only make things worse. It’s important to give them the time and space they need to work through their feelings.
INFJs may also fall into the grip of their inferior sensing side when they are really stressed out. This can cause them to become short-sighted, reckless, and impulsive. It’s important to recognize when an INFJ is experiencing grip stress and help them find healthy ways to cope with it.
When an INFJ is hurt by someone they care about, they may slam the door on the relationship as a way of protecting themselves from further pain. While this can seem harsh, it’s important to understand that INFJs are deeply empathetic and feel emotions on a level that most people can’t even comprehend.
In order for an INFJ to heal from past pain or trauma, they need to open up to true vulnerability. This means acknowledging both the good and bad moments of their past and remaining open to healing and growing from those experiences. It’s not an easy process, but it’s necessary for the INFJ to move forward in a healthy way.
Coping Strategies For INFJs When Hurt
When an INFJ is hurt, it’s essential for them to take care of their emotional well-being. Here are some coping strategies that can help:
1. Allow yourself to feel the pain: INFJs tend to bottle up their emotions, but it’s important to acknowledge and process the pain they’re feeling. Let yourself cry, scream, or do whatever you need to do to release the emotions.
2. Reach out to a trusted friend or therapist: While INFJs may be hesitant to open up about their feelings, it’s important to have a support system in place. Talk to a trusted friend or seek the help of a therapist who can offer guidance and support.
3. Practice self-care: Take care of your physical and emotional needs by engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. This could include taking a warm bath, going for a walk in nature, or practicing meditation.
4. Set healthy boundaries: If the person who hurt you is still in your life, it’s important to set boundaries that protect your emotional well-being. This could mean limiting contact or having a conversation about what behaviors are acceptable and what aren’t.
5. Focus on personal growth: Use the pain as an opportunity for personal growth and self-reflection. Ask yourself what lessons you can learn from the experience and how you can use them to grow as a person.
Remember, healing takes time and it’s okay to take things slow. Be patient with yourself and know that you deserve to be treated with love and respect.
Healing And Moving Forward As An INFJ
Healing and moving forward as an INFJ can be a difficult process, but it’s essential for the INFJ to work through their emotions in order to fully heal. The first step is to accept the pain and acknowledge that it’s okay to feel hurt. The INFJ should allow themselves to grieve and process their emotions in a healthy way.
It’s also important for the INFJ to focus on their own needs and prioritize self-care. This may involve taking time off work or social activities to recharge and reflect. The INFJ should also make sure they are getting enough sleep, exercise, and healthy food to support their physical and emotional well-being.
INFJs may also benefit from seeking support from trusted friends or a therapist. Talking about their feelings with someone who understands them can be a helpful way for the INFJ to process their emotions and gain perspective.
In addition, it’s important for the INFJ to work on developing their Judging functions, Extraverted Feeling and Introverted Thinking. This can help the INFJ become more self-aware and open to accepting feedback from others. By working on these functions, the INFJ can improve their communication skills and set healthy boundaries that consider their needs.
Finally, it’s important for the INFJ to remember that healing is a process and it takes time. It’s okay to take things slow and focus on self-care before jumping into new relationships or situations. With patience and self-compassion, the INFJ can move forward from past pain and find happiness in their future.